The Monster Behind Emerald Eyes
by IAmSherloki'd42
Summary: A Reader/Loki story where the Reader learns that Loki is Jotun, and struggles to believe the truth about her best friend. This is set before the Thor movies.
1. Who Could Love A Monster?

You walked down the familiar halls, taking in every sight, wonderous as they were, although you had seen them your entire life. Your family was well-known in Asgard, and you had spent much of your childhood studying with the princes. Thor had always been foolhardy, hardly ever considering what he was saying, and how it would affect those around him. But this, this was going too far. Loki had a very close secret, one that he shared with no one, not even with you or Thor. You could not blame him though, Thor would yell Loki's preciously kept secret to all the 9 realms without a second thought. Thor knew of his secret, and how he valued it so, and attempted to pressure Loki into divulging it in front of everyone. As Thor forced Loki to back into a wall in an attempt to hide, you watched, fearing to do anything. You feared the brothers' anger, although they were your closest and oldest friends. To intervene would quite possibly evoke the Thunder God's anger. You watched as Loki's eyes brimmed with tears, carefully keeping them in check so that they wouldn't spill over in front of his pompous brother. In a moment, between blinks, Loki had disappeared! You silently laughed to yourself, as Thor's eyes fumed with anger and confusion, obviously not knowing where his brother had gone. You, of course, knew, as you had always been closer to the raven-haired prince. The anger at Thor welled up inside of you, threatening to blow at the next person you saw. You had to remind yourself that you were going to Loki. The anger would not ease the tensions, and would only make his problems worse. As you reached the end of a passageway, you glanced around to make sure that there would be no one watching. As you both were skilled in the art of seidr, the magical force that flowed through all bodies, you had created a magical door to a secret room that had not been used for years, save your's and Loki's hiding from the rest of the palace. With a flick of your wrist, the door appeared, and after you had closed it upon your entry, it disappeared once again. It was so cold and dark in here. Usually Loki would at least light a small fire. With a snap of your fingers a small light flitted across the room. It wasn't much, but enough that you could walk without stumbling.

"Loki? Loki, I know you're in here somewhere!"  
Then the thought occurred to you. You were shivering. It was cold! You had noticed it before, but hadn't given it any thought. It was so warm and idyllic outside, a perfect paradise, but in here there was a bitter cold. It snapped at your fingers, nearly turning them blue with cold. You quickly breathed over them, restoring them to proper coloration. You hoped that Loki had something keeping him warm in here.  
You called again, "Loki! Where are you? It's just me! No one followed me here. Please come out..." You finally heard a response coming from the shadows, forced out through sobs.

"I had hoped that you wouldn't follow me here. I suppose it was foolish to come to a place that you knew I'd be... just leave me be (y/n), please."

"Why? I came here to talk to you Loki. I fully intend of completing that goal." You heard him speak again, the tears gone, and his voice hollow and flat.

"Congratulations. You've talked to me. Leave me. Now."

"No. I'm not going."

"LEAVE ME!" His voice was forceful and full of emotion. It shook the roof above your head, and you flinched in fear. You saw a small smile come from his face in the shadow. It was not a smile of happiness, nor contentment, but as if he was affirming something to himself. He muttered something unintelligible, but then whispered something that you could barely make out. "So I was right. I am a monster..."

"What in the Nine Realms do you mean, 'I'm a monster'!"

"Ahhh, my loyal friend. Always protecting me, whether she realises what she's defending or not..." You easily found the hints of sarcasm in his voice

"I know quite well what I'm defending Loki! I'm defending you from, well, you..." Your voice was laced with confusion and anger. How could he think that he was a monster! He was as normal as the rest of the Aesir, well mostly. His innate gift of seidr was rare among the men, but he was one of the best in Asgard, his skills envied by the lesser informed. But his behaviour here was unthinkable. Loki, your best friend from childhood was no monster. "Why won't you come out of the shadows, Loki? Why are you hiding from me?"

"You know my answer."

"YOU'RE NOT A MONSTER! JUST COME OUT ALREADY!" Now it was your turn to shake the roof. A long sigh fell from his lips as he granted your wish and stepped out of the shadows into the small light that was illuminating the room. A straight face stared at yours, as you gazed with wonder at him. His voice was as cool as the air in room, and he spoke placidly.

"Now do you see (y/n) (l/n)! I AM a monster! Cower and fear the real me. No mask to protect you now!"

"Wha- Loki? You're a- a- Jotun?" Your voice was filled with disbelief. You couldn't take it all in. Your best friend, your Loki, he was a Frost Giant. No! The Frost Giants were horrid monsters. They were cruel, vicious, with no regard for life. How could he- his voice interrupted your thoughts.

"It makes sense now, doesn't it? All those years, you never understood. You will NEVER understand!" His words were spat with venom. You knew he was right, you could never understand. You would never know what it was like to be the outcast, you just couldn't even if you tried. Your eyes stung, and a lump was caught in your throat. The tears that were brimming on the edge of your eyes were screaming to break free, but you fought them with all your might. If you cried in front of Loki, especially like this, he would have won. He would have claimed that he was right. You fell onto the ground and put your head in your hands as you stopped fighting the tears. You just couldn't hold it back anymore. After what seemed like a forever, you looked up, with obvious tears stains on your face. Loki's face remained unchanged, the same cold face as before, his teeth gritted and skin blue. But as you looked at him there was something different that you couldn't place.

"So I was right. Not even my closest "friend" can stand before me now. But then again, why would a monster like me need any friends. None of you care anyway." There was a smirk across his face, and a dark expression behind it. The sadness that weighed heavily upon your chest felt as if Mjolnir itself layed on you. But added to the pain was a newfound anger. You looked up and stared into Loki's eyes. You stepped towards him, without breaking your gaze. A look of surprise shone in his eyes, and it just as quickly disappeared. As you stepped towards him again, you slowly raised your hand. Loki visibly stiffened at what he thought was coming. Thor, as well as Frigga, had tried the same thing. The tender touch of their hand was supposed to soothe him, and he expected the same from you. You, however had something very different in mind.


	2. Never Again Alone

Your frustration and anger at the God of Mischief had become unbearable, and you had struck his cheek. The skin that was an uniform blue now had a flesh coloured hand mark. Loki's eyes widened in surprise as he tenderly touched his left cheek. It stung and he felt a heat rush run across his face. You watched, barely inches away from him, as a wave of content washed over you. You stared at his blood red eyes as he raised his hand as if to strike you back. You stood there, unflinching, a cross look was riddled among your features.

"Loki Odinson! How dare you speak of yourself or your loyal companions this way! We have been by your side every day from the beginning!"

A sigh escaped his lips as he rubbed his forehead as if you were a stupid child.

" Loyal. None of you have ever been _loyal_. Always choosing Thor over me. Of course, he was always the obvious choice. Who _couldn't_ fall for that "darling" smile of his. And you can't forget his golden locks. As well as that _ever impressive_ strength. Everyone desired Thor! Who cared about the brother who stood by his side every day? Nobody! Who ever cared about the prince who could not best all the rest in battle? Nobody! Who could care for the monster behind emerald eyes..."  
The pain, as well as the obvious disgust, in his voice cut you deeply, much farther than any of his previous accusations had. You tried as hard as you could to hide it, not allowing it to show. Your stance of power and authority quickly faded as you took a single step away from him. You were very careful not to show any emotion, as your action could very well been taken as a show of fear, which he was very desperately searching for. Your masquerade of indifference was becoming exponentially harder to upkeep as thought after thought flowed through your mind. How could he POSSIBLY think that you favoured Thor. Although your friendship with both brothers was thicker than blood, you had always prefered the quiet, peaceful company of Loki to the rambunctious spontanaiety of Thor. You cared little for appearances, much to the dismay of your parents, who for years had tried to make you a fair maiden worthy of the attention of nobles across all the realms, only to have their efforts crushed to find you climbing up a tree or swimming in a nearby lake with the princes. As for besting the others in battle, you found the fighting repulsive, as necessary as it was. After your contemplation had ended, you realized that you and Loki had been staring at each other for what seemed like hours. You blushed as you whispered your answer.

"Me... I care."

Those three simple words had an impact on him like you had never seen before. The mix of shock, confusion, and anger, combined with his previous pain and loathing was nearly too much to bear. You watched with worry as his eyes searched the room frantically. You suddenly remembered, this was his safe haven, the room where nothing could touch him. Those three words had brought the security of his barriers crumbling down. Everything he had thought about you, about his situation was wrong, and you had reached inside of his deepest emotions and stabbed them, making them raw and resurfaced.

"How?! Do you see me? I'm a - a monster! I'm a Frost Giant from Jotunnheim! My people have terrorized Asgard for millenia! Why- why don't you scream in fear? Why don't you run away like everybody else?! I should be all alone, like the beast that I am."

"What does that matter? You don't have to be alone anymore, Loki."

"But, I- I'm the monster that parents tell their children about at night! My true father left me to DIE in the cold as an infant, and that man you all call King and Father took me to Asgard as a bargaining chip! I am no more than a peace treaty between the two realms!"

His jaw was trembling, and his cheeks were stained with tears. The fear was his not yours. You furrowed your eyebrows in worry and pain. You looked at his face once again, and the mark that you left on his face earlier was gone. Cold no longer emantated from his Jotunn in the room, as he slowly tranformed back into his Aesir form. His head was in his hands, as he sank to the floor, his whole body was shaking with his ragged breathing. You walked over to the corner in which the raven prince's slender form was curled into a ball, his head now in his hands as well as between his legs. You sighed heavily, in all your years of knowing Loki, he had never broken in front of you quite like this before. You didn't wish to evoke his anger again, so you tried the most innocent thing you could think of.

You carefully sat down next to the weeping prince and gently put your arms around his shoulders. He tensed up at this gesture, and you froze for a second. Realizing it meant nothing, you pulled him closer to you and positioned him to where you could lay his head upon your shoulders. Your arms shifted to his back and head, nearly cradling as you would an infant. As you rocked him back and forth, you sang the lullaby which you remembered Lady Frigga singing to the princes in centuries past before they slept. It enchanted you then, and you learned it as soon as possible. You slowly hummed the chorous that you had heard so many times before, took a deep breath then began singing to the crying prince taking solace in your arms.

Lay down your head and I'll sing you a lullaby  
Back to the years of loo-li-lai-lay  
And I'll sing you to sleep, and I'll sing you tomorrow  
Bless you with love for the road that you go.

After the first verse, the song seemed to have the effect you were looking for. Loki's tension visibly relaxed, and his near hyperventalation had ceased. The weeping still remained, but ever so barely, and begun to rest more upon your shoulder than the wall. You continued the song as if nothing was different.

May you sail far the the far fields of fortune  
With diamonds and pearls at you head and your feet  
And may you never need to banish misfortune  
May you find kindness in all that you meet

May there always be angels to watch over you  
To guide you each step of the way  
To guard you and keep you safe from all harm  
Loo-li, loo-li, lai-lay

...

You looked down at Loki after finishing the song, and you realized that he had fallen asleep while in your arms. You could feel the crimson that was now across your face. This was a situation that you were glad no one saw, but still, it sent a warm sensation in your abdomen. The hand that cradled his head layed it down into the crook of your other arm as the first one lifted away. You gently wiped off the tears that stained his face and a small smile broke out on his lips. You looked at him as a mother might a child, a feeling of serenity soothing your mind and body, putting all previous stress from the evening at rest. He looked so peaceful and content. You decided he couldn't sleep here, he needed a proper bed, so you thought of how to sneak the sleeping prince past the guards without arousing their concern. Then the thought crossed your mind as you remembered the days long ago when you would play till you passed out upon the floor, only to wake up in your bedroom. You would preform a bit of maternal "magic". Summoning some of your seidr, although you were not well trained in the magics, you attempted a teleportation spell. You only knew what little Loki what taught you before, and it took much effort to hold him and cast a spell at the same time, but you managed after four failed attempts.

Arriving in the prince's bedroom, you blushed even further. This was not a room you wished to visit in this manner, but as long as no one saw you could manage the strength to pull it off. You silently walked over to Loki's bed and layed him down as if he were the most precious and fragile thing in all of Asgard. A wave of your hand over his body and his armor changed into a green tunic and black pants. As you pulled his luxuriously soft blanket over him, you bent over and chastely kissed his cool, pale forehead. You ran your fingers through his tightly combed hair to loosen it, and whispered "Good night, my raven prince. Sleep well and long, for as Heimdall is my witness, you will never be alone again."

You rose and with a great concentration, teleported yourself to your own comfortable bedroom.

Hey! Thanks for reading my story! I know what the end of the last chapter sounded like, but I'm not doing any of that! This a clean, no language, no explicit content, or content of any type for that matter type of story. Sorry if this is a bit cheesy, it's my first fanfiction, but comments and critique are always welcome! Again, thanks so much!

For anyone who wants to know, the lullaby that you sing to Loki is _Sleepsong _by Saoirse!


	3. Why?

Your bedroom wasn't as extravagant as the prince's, but at the same time, you didn't want it to be. Between the jewels and the metal, as well as the fancy furniture, you didn't know how they lived in there. It wasn't comfortable at all! Your old worn out chair was soft, and you sank every time you sat in it. Your bed was plain, unmade, with a simple brown blanket on it, but it was more than you needed. No, you weren't poor by any means, and you could very easily have a room similar to Loki's if you wished. You just liked it better that way.

You kicked off your shoes as you took a deep breath. The smell of your miniature library that was end to end bookcases on your walls was better than the smell of any feast, or the stores that most of the maidens your age commonly spent their time in. You brushed your fingers over the old leather spines of some of your favourites, giving them the attention you feared that they missed. Your studies had become so consuming, between your traditional studies, and your private magic lessons with Loki.

You yawned deeply, rubbing your eyes with your fists as a child might and collapsed upon your chair. You realized for the first time that night just how tired you were. With a tired sweep of your hand over your body, your formal dress and robe transformed into a fluffy sleeping gown. You nodded, approving of your subconcious' choice. You staggered over to your bed and layed down. You were asleep before your head hit the pillow.

That night, you had no restful sleep. Rather, you dreamt of Loki and his news to you. Your dreams were filled with terror as you watched Jotunns invade Asgard, searching for the princes all the while, only to find Loki on the opposing side, killing your brethren. You screamed for him to stop, to come join you and find somewhere safe. He would walk towards you, as if to comply with your wishes, but thrust a dagger into your side as soon as you looked away. When you would ask him why in your dying moments, his eyes sparkled with murderous rage and he would only laugh, before yanking the dagger out of your side and thrusting it into your heart. The nightmare was on constant repeat, restarting as soon as it finished.

You awoke in a cold sweat, your throat hoarse as if you had been screaming for hours, which you might have been. Your eyes burned and your face and pillow were soaked. Every inch of you was trembling, but what had woken you? Surely it wasn't the dream, for you had been locked in it the entire night. You carefully stood and opened your window. It was late into the morning, that was had woken you, the day. You sighed in relief as you looked over the city, the view from your window never ceased to amaze you, but today was unlike no other. To see your beautiful city after last night was a blessing, and you silently thanked the gods.

Your stomach yelled at you as you walked down the halls to the court. Surely you had already missed breakfast, but maybe it wasn't to late to catch something to eat. You cursed as you fixed your chestplate once again. It was far too big for you, but it was the only one you could get. You were tinier than most Asgardian women. Today was jousting practice with Thor, and you would need every ounce of protection that you could get, and every ounce of strength. You walked through the court doors, and expected to see nothing, but to your surprise there was the entire royal family, midmeal. Apparently, it wasn't as late as you thought. All eyes were drawn to you as you interrupted their feast. Lady Frigga was the first to speak up as usual.

"Come dear, sit down and eat." She motioned to an indented curve on the bench, meant as a seating position. You gracefully walked over to the seat and sat down. You began fixing a plate as Thor began talking.

"You slept late, (y/n)! We waited as long as we could for you, but our hunger spoke too loudly, forgive us, and feast!" It was clear from his near vacant expression, that he had been drinking last night. You made an executive decision to ignore him from then on during breakfast. You tried not to stuff your face as quickly as like Thor was, and you tried to look graceful, poised and ladylike as the Queen did, but to no avail. You just ate. You were neither graceful, nor messy, just hungry.

As you were eating you acciedently bumped whoever was sitting next to you. You paused and said, "I'm sorry. I'm a bit clumsy today." The person next to you spoke and said, "You need not apologize. I am a bit tired still." You recognized the voice very well, and you knew it could only be one person. You felt your face grow hot and you blushed. You managed to look over at Loki and you gave a soft, sympathetic smile. He looked at you with a face that said, 'we need to talk' all over it, and you had a feeling you knew what about.

After breakfast, you were sitting in the arena waiting for Thor. He was supposed to teach you swordplay and jousting today, but with him being slightly inebriated, you didn't know how well that was going to work out. You saw someone step through the door and you stood while readying your sword. You calmed and resheathed your blade when you saw who it was.

"Do you care to explain what happened last night?"

"What do you mean?" His calm voice worried you. He was never this calm unless he was actually calm, which you doubted, or really upset.

"You know what I'm talking about. Don't deny it. One moment I'm on the floor crying because of you, and the next you're on the floor with me holding me in a tight embrace." You felt flushed, and your body went cold.

"Ahhh, that. Well you see-" You were cut off by him continuing his thought.

"After that, you're singing my mother's song! Why were you singing that? Why of all songs, that! Then I wake up in my own bed the next day. What did you do to me?"

"Why don't we go somewhere else to talk about this? We're attracting a bit of a crowd." That much was true. People had heard Loki's shouting and come to see what was wrong. With a flick of your wrist you both suddenly appeared in your study, the small room detached from your bedroom. You knew that this transportation might make Loki even more upset at you, but that was a risk worth taking. If he kept that up in the arena, then he might have accidentally blown his secret, and whether he was going to recognize it or not, you were doing him a favor. You turned around and took a seat in one of your chairs, and you bid Loki to do the same. He followed suit, and took his place directly in front of you.

"Why did you move us?"

"Because this is a conversation between the two of us, not for the rest of the nine realms." He scowled at the indifference in your voice, as you spoke plainly and simply. "Now to begin answering your questions... last night after you had broken down on the floor sobbing, I couldn't stand it, watching you cry that is. I didn't want to make any moves that could be wrongly mistaken, so I tried the most innocent that I could think of on the spot, I sat down and I hugged you, just like I used to when we were little. Like after you would get in trouble with Odin, or you got hurt." He was still supicious, but seemed to relax at the mention of childhood memories. Then he tensed up again as he had obviously thought elsewhere.

"What about the singing? Only the Queen knows that song, and she never sings it anymore."

You sighed, this wasn't how you wished for this all to go. He was all too curious and couldn't leave a good deed unpunished. You decided to answer his worried questioning. "I learned when I was young from your mother. She taught me it, since I was so deeply enchanted by the song. As for why, it seemed to calm you down and put you at rest whenever she sang it, so it seemed the best bet."

"What abou-" You cut him off this time. You weren't finished.

"As for waking up in your own bed, you fell asleep midway through the song in my arms." It was his turn to blush, and you smiled at seeing how that sentence affected him so quickly. "I figured I couldn't just leave you there, so I cast a transportation spell and tucked you into bed."

"I woke up in a sleeping robe... you didn't-" His eyes shot wide with horror, and your's did as well. You gasped out the words trying to reclaim your breath.

"Of course not! I would never- I- I used magic! Just because I sang to you doesn't mean that I would-" You stopped there in mortification. How could he have asked such a question?! When you calmed down from the question, you tried to explain further. The words poured from you mouth like a fountain, but few were whole, and none formed full thoughts. Your face was as hot as if were engulfed in flames, and you felt as if your normally silver tongue had become lead. You quickly hushed as you felt his lips press soundly against yours, and before you could realise what was happening, he pulled away as fast as he had come. You watched as he stood from his chair, and walked a few steps away. He looked you straight in the eyes, his gaze penetrating your very soul, and said, "Thank you" and teleported away.


	4. Did That Really Just Happen? (Reader)

You sat there for a second, dazed, trying to process what had just happened. As far as you remembered, you were talking to Loki, and then he had just disappeared. Not like it was the first time he had done that, but still. Gosh, what HAD happened. You felt all warm and fuzzy, which was an odd feeling for you. You thought back, analyzing the events.  
You remembered transporting him into his room, and laying him in bed. After that you went to your own room and then... and then what?... you remember an arguement. Him yelling at you, and you moving the two of you for the 3rd time. You remember more yelling, and him standing. He walked over to you... then something rather distracting happened. WOAH! The realisation suddenly hit you, He walked over to you, and kissed you! Loki kissed you! It was the moment you had been dreaming of, even though you were best friends.  
Was it wrong that you felt this way? Your mind raced as you argued with your own head, not even stopping to consider how childish what you were doing really was.  
"Ohmygosh, he kissed me..."  
'So what! It's not like it could have really meant anything anyway.'  
"And why not! I mean, he's the one who kissed ME! Not the other way around..."  
'And how much older than him are you?'  
"Only about 100 years older!"  
'My point made.'  
"You haven't made any point! We live for 5000 years!"  
'You grew up with him, you daft thing!'  
"You are aware that you just insulted yourself, right?"  
'Not the point! You grew up with him, and him with you! You're practically his older sister!'  
"But I'm not. I'm just a nobleman's daughter. He's a freakin' prince!"  
'There's another thing! Do you really think, even if you are right, what makes you think that a prince would even be allowed to fall in love with someone like you!'  
"I guess there's a bit of logic to that... and I guess I am his older sister, sort of... but still, what if you're wrong?"  
'I highly doubt it. I'm almost never wrong. You know that better than anybody. Besides, who says that the kiss was anything more than a "thank you m'lady" little prize for putting up with him.'  
"Have you forgotten what in world he just went through! He just accidentally showed me that he's not even part of the royal family, not really. He's Jotunn. He's one of the Frost Giants, if you recall. That's got to count for something..."  
'Of course I didn't forget. And what difference does it make? That was nearly traumatic for us, I'm not likely to forget anytime soon.'  
"He expected me to run in fear, but I stayed. That has to make a least a little bit of a difference. Although, I'm not sure why he thought I'd treat any different now that I know he's Jotunn. I mean, I've known him his entire life, why should that make any difference at all!"  
'I don't know. And no, I'm not repeating that. But, yeah, I agree. There's no reason to treat him any different, at ALL.'  
"I caught that."  
'You were meant to. It's not like you couldn't anyway, I mean, I am your subconcious after all.'  
"Don't remind me."  
'Too late! You're arguing with your subconcious! How fun for you!'  
"Shut up."  
'Ummm...no.'  
"I mean it! Leave me alone!"  
'What are you going to do? Stick your fingers in your ears? I'm in your head, you idiot. You're going to hear what I have to say, whether you like it or not!'  
"Stop it!" At that point you broke down crying. Today had been stressful enough, without arguing with yourself. You had decided that you were a mean little soul, and should, to the best of your abilities, be ignored. Goodness gracious, what would anybody else say when they asked you why you were crying!  
'You could start with, "I was arguing with myself" it might sound less crazy... nevermind, you are crazy.'  
You sniffled and muttered some curse words at your subconcious, telling it once again to shut up and leave you alone. You decided that rather than arguing with yourself, or giving your subconcious a chance to respond, you were going to get some food! You were positively starving!  
After around another 20 odd minutes to get the tears out, and allow yourself to return to your normal colouring, you changed yourself out of your armour, which quite honestly, you had forgotten you were wearing, into a green silk robe. It was chosen specifically to semi-match Loki, but subtly. The pale green fabric slightly hugged your slender figure, and the silver-gold ribbon creating it's empire waist would be perfect for creating a regal look, even if you weren't royal.  
Slipping on your favourite black flats, you began to head down the hall toward the kitchen. On the way, you walked past the library, and quickly stuck your head in. You always found it difficult to resist the never-ending rows and rows of leather-bound pages. The words would float around your head, enchanting you with every story you read. You began to step in and browse the extensive selection until your stomach made a growl that could put many wild animals to shame. You stepped out, mentally promising yourself to stop by after food.  
When you reached the kitchen, you took a deep breath of the aroma that would constantly float around the room. Smells of spices filled you, only adding to your hunger. Walking over to the pantries, you opened one of the door, quickly looking up and down the shelves in almost a frantic pace. Finding a loaf of bread, an apple, and some salted bilgesnipe, you slowly walked back to your room to enjoy the miniature feast that you had procured for yourself.


	5. Did That Really Just Happen (Loki POV)

Once the puff of smoke cleared, I sat down on my chair. The leather seat made a slight groan as I rested my full weight upon it.  
Had I really just done that? She was my best friend, the only one who had ever stuck by my side, as much as I deserved to be cast out for all eternity like the monster that I was.  
I reached up and cupped my own hand around my cheek, as if defending it. She would've struck me again for that comment if she were here, and I knew it.  
I could almost hear her voice speaking to me, scolding me as she had done the night before.  
"You are no monster, Loki! How dare you think of yourself like that!"  
The clarity of that statement in my head startled me, as I rarely have occurrences like that. Before I had realised what I had started by allowing that thought to come to me, I had begun to reply.  
"But I am! I am a frost giant! I was a child cast out by his own father on the streets of Jotunnheim!"  
"A frost giant is no monster Loki. They are their own, they find love and beauty in their own way just as the Aesir do!"  
"They are a barbaric culture! Only striving to kill and destroy!"  
"Who told you this? Who put these thoughts here? These did not come from you."  
"I learned them from childhood. Every Aesir knows of how the Jotunns came and nearly wiped out the nine realms, until the AllFather stopped them. The barbaric frost giants were sent back to their realm in shame."  
"Hmm, seems rather biased, don't you think?"  
"Wha- What do you mean?"  
"It sounds like you're only hearing one side of the story."  
"I don't understand."  
"No? You hear only what the Aesir believe to be true. Has it never occurred to you that the Jotunns might have a different story, a different remembrance of the same events?"  
" It- no. No, I never thought- But what if the Aesir are right?"  
"They are not, Loki. They wished to expand control, yes, but maybe not for the reasons you were told."  
"What is your point in telling me this?"  
"They are not monsters. Nor are you."  
"But... I am Loki. I was taken from the streets as an infant. Sought only as a bargaining chip between the two realms. I was never truly welcomed. He never truly wanted me. I- I am a peace treaty, only used for his game of politics."  
" No Loki! You are-" At this point I realised just what I was doing and I was going to finish this. This was childish. Arguing with myself as a child. If you had seen him then...no. You weren't going to invade my thoughts. Not this time. This was between me and that annoying thing in the back of my head. I was nearly in tears, my eyes brimming with wetness, burning as if aflame, constantly threatening to spill over at nearly any second. I began to yell, my voice cracking.  
"NO! You listen to me! I am Loki. God of mischief! Weaver of lies." My voice became significantly softer, nearly to the point of a whisper, as the tears finally spilt and raced down my face, cooling myself with their icy bite "I am neither of Asgard nor of Jotunnheim. I am Loki, and I am alone..."  
I sat in my chair, knees pulled to my chest. I had my hands grasping at my head, rocking back and forth, sobbing hard enough to shake my whole frame. I went on for what seemed like years, when I heard that voice again. This time it was softer, consolatory, and when it spoke it was soothing, temporarily subsiding the tears, if only for a second. It said what you had told me when I had fallen asleep. The transportation had awoken me, but only slightly, and I was too tired to move. But I had heard your words of solace, and took them to heart.  
"Good night, my raven prince. Sleep well and long, for as Heimdall is my witness, you will never be alone again."  
'Sleep well and long', almost nothing sounded like a better suggestion. If my eyes were aflame before, they were ashes now, and it hurt to open them and to see the light. So I kept them closed, and with a wave of my hand over my body, I had changed out of my armor and into my sleepwear. Stumbling over to my bed, I climbed in. With a snap of my fingers, the blankets pulled themselves to my shoulders. I grabbed them close, the tears resuming, and lay there listening to the memory of your singing until I succumbed to sleep.


End file.
